Serving my family

Earlier this evening I wrote about the oh so messy house and "Am I Enough?"

Well it's almost midnight and I have been relaxing and reading encouraging blogs for Christian mothers and doing laundry, dishes etc..  Doing what I can, when I can, as I can.. just as I stated.

As I said earlier, my husband being very sick, has been making sure dinner is cooked but as I visited the kitchen tonight hungry.. I saw that it was even messier than I realized.

How can he possibly be cooking dinner with nothing clean to even cook in?

It hit me.  He's washing dishes THEN cooking!

So tonight, I am trying to be a servant to my family.  (as mothers and or wives our FIRST mission is our OWN families, please, please never forget or question that)  

I am by NO MEANS bragging on what I'm doing.  I'm only doing what I am SUPPOSED to do.  But I looked in that kitchen and realized how much harder it is for him to make dinner having to first do dishes THEN cook.  He's very very sick and he's still making sure we have dinner.  Some of you may see that as my place but I've had a kidney stone and we work together so we share the household duties as well.  It is what it is...for now.

I unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher to finally clear out one side of the sink.  I'm praying for the strength, no pain and he desire, quite honestly, to get it all clean so that when he wakes up in the morning he walks into a clean kitchen.  NO I'm not doing it so he will come and say what a wonderful wife he has.  (he says that when I'm at my worst)  I want him to wake up and have some stress off his shoulders.  Tonight I am not hurting so much so I am making the best of my time and while I start to grow weary in what I'm doing.. I'm seeking more Christian Mommy blogs to read to encourage me to keep going!

Please, let me encourage you ... Keep going.  It doesn't have to be perfect.  Just keep going.  One foot in front of the other.  One day at a time.  Will I ever arrive?  I doubt it.. but each day I pray that I will remember to be a servant to my family and to put them above myself and do what I can to bless them.  

My oldest has grown up and is off at college.  The next in line is 14.  I look at that and gasp!  I have 4 years left with her before she starts college.  She's one of my best friends EVER and in 4 years that will FLY by she will be spreading her wings!

Back to my point..  something helping me keep going is the knowing that I'm blessing my family AND reading other Christian mother's who are blogging about their normal, less than perfect lives.  Do you have any great blogs like that to share?  Do you write one?  Please comment and share.

I'm giving up on having the perfect house and the perfect ETC but I'm going to do my best for God and for my family... and I'm going to fall down but I pray I will always get back up again and keep going!

Am I enough?

Me - the mother of four... not to mention a wife.

A child of God, most importantly.

 

But, am I enough?

 

I look around.  I literally stepped on dirty clothes in front of "Mount Washmore" tonight as I started a load of laundry.  Just a year ago, it wasn't this way.  I had it "all together."

 

Did I have another baby?  No.  Was I working then?  Yes.  What changed?  I don't know.

 

I was stressing all the time - me and everyone around me that everything had to be just perfect.   You see, years ago I had a VERY messy house.  I made the decision that was NOT going to happen with "ME" again.  Yeah well -- I'm eating my words.

 

There are dishes in the sink... oh but let's not stop there - there are dishes on the counter beside the sink needing washed. 

 

I'm tired.  I passed yet another kidney stone last night.  But is that the reason the house is so messy?  NO!  It was messy BEFORE I got the kidney stone.

 

The Christmas tree AND decorations are STILL up.

 

Am I enough?

 

Deep breath.  Well, here's what I know - I'm God's child.  He loves me even at my worst.  I can't compare my life to all of those who at least SEEM to have it all together.  I've been in homes messier than mine is at this moment but I've FOR SURE been in many more that were much cleaner.  I have precious children.  They make BIG messes.  I make messes and so does my hubby.  We are LIVING LIFE. 

 

We have little money but we are making it.  My children obviously have enough clothing that "Mount Washmore" can exist and I can still lay out clothes for tomorrow.  I have to say we are BLESSED.  My husband and I work hard.  We love God, each other and our children FIERCELY.  My hubby is sick.  He's been sick.  Yet he carries on.  Just like tonight - cooking dinner.

 

I don't feel so great about myself tonight.  If you knocked on my door, I would not let you in.  I'd smile and say it was not a good time for visitors.

 

So what do I do?  Well, I guess I start with doing what I can as I can and not stressing myself or everyone else in the home about the messiness.  So is that enough?  Well, it's all I can do.

 

I'm hurting.  Once you pass a kidney stone, your kidneys and everything else are simply torn up from that little "cocklebur" looking thing having bounced around all in there and then passing through.  OUCH!  I have no pain meds because I passed it at home.  I went to my doctor today and because I passed it already - he can not give me anything at all to take and the ibuprofen isn't cutting it.  I'm doing the best I can... or am I?  I guess I always feel I need to do a little more.

 

Let's go back a year.  The house was almost always company ready.  It was clean, the laundry NEVER had more than one load and it was washed immediately.  OCD was in full effect.  I couldn't stand for the kids to make a mess without me saying again and again, "you know that has to be put back up perfectly when you are finished."  I'm sure that did not excite them in their creativity as I kept reminding them.  Sometimes I saw them just put it away... not even continuing to play.  Were we happy?  I thought so... but no.

 

We were living in "my little perfect world" I was trying so hard to create.

 

NOT GOOD.

 

So I share this to say - Moms - you ARE enough.  If your house is a mess but your children are happy and your family is in harmony with Jesus.  Be content.  Don't beat yourself up.  One day our children are going to grow up and all we will have to "clean up after" is ourselves and our hubbies.  That will be much more simple but much less fulfilling I think.

 

So let it go.  Just breathe.  Give yourself a break and do what you can, when you can, as you can.  Don't stress everyone in the house out about it all.  Let your children be children.  They grow up far too fast.  Let them see it's perfectly okay and normal not to have everything perfect.  Don't set them up to have the standard of everything being "just so."

 

Breathe.  Tomorrow will come and you can do more...

..... so can I.

4 of the new pics I took of Madi Grace :)

I had this beanie special made for her exactly as she wanted it.  I took over 100 pics so I took some without it that I will post later.  Here's one of my beautiful girls from Sunday afternoon.

This last one is my favorite so far with the beanie on.  :)

What do ya think?

I think she's beyond beautiful... just look at those blue eyes!!

She was blessed to get those from her sweet Daddy!

One Thankful Mommy, Cass

Leaving the social media circus that is facebook!

After many years of being on Facebook it was time to go.  It's time to leave those in my past just there - in my past.  Holding onto Facebook wouldn't allow that.  There was no way to go through thousands of so called "friends" on there and delete all that needed to go... so I left.

Was it scary?  Well admittedly I felt a little sad as I left... there are those I wanted to hold onto but then there were those I wanted to let go of me so a decision was made.  Time to go.

I only need positive, encouraging people in my life and I frankly don't need to know everyone's business nor want them to know mine.  Almost no one knows of this little blog.  Maybe 3 people that are from my past.  And they're worth holding onto.  The rest?  I have to let go. 

I have a huge biological family and just to delete them off there would have taken forever.  I need to escape the drama and crap that they reel me into.  So.. that's it.

Is there something holding you back from your peace?  Facebook was causing me to have less peace.  My peace is worth more than that.  God will bring those into your life that need to be there and sometimes as hard as it may be (family or friends) you just need to remove people from your life. 

Feeling free,
Cass

God is so Good!!

TRUST ME... it's not EVERY day that I'm cleaning my bathroom singing, "This is the Day that the Lord has made!"  But today I am.  Today I am focusing on my blessings.  Today I am living in the praises of what God has given to me, done for me and continues to hold for our future as The Little Family.  

I claim that all God has for us that we will be in a position to recognize and be grateful for and share with others!

Earlier today my mind was consumed with other things so my husband suggested I put on a movie and just not think.  I was worried.  Stressed.  He put on a Nicholas Sparks movie I haven't seen and I thought I had seen them all!  :)  I did and I just said, "God I give it to you.  I can't do it.  It's gonna take a miracle."  I should have prefaced my last post with this one.  

I want you to realize that it's not every day that I'm feeling so up and my faith so lifted.  But those days come and they come more often when you WATCH FOR THEM!

I'm watching.  May my eyes not be turned away from the Lord and distracted by anything.

To Him I give ALL Glory and today truly is a day that He made... and I will rejoice and be glad in it.  JOIN ME!  :)

A Child of THE King,
Cassidy

When cleaning a home becomes a MIRACLE

TODAY is January 5th.  My rent is due.  I have $0  to go to my rent.  I have barely enough to keep gas in the truck.  A friend, my husband and I just kept trusting God was going to provide.  We KNEW He would.  The 5th came today and I admit my heart sank some.  I texted the landlord who is intolerant of late rent and let her know my rent would be late with no response.  
Today I did as my husband said and I just quit thinking about it.  The Bible tells us that worry won't add a day to our lives.  ( but we all know it can cause lots of health problems!)  

Well tonight, my friend called.  I was sharing good news about my mother.  (another post)  She interrupted me and said, "Would you like to hear the GOOD NEWS???"  I said, "yes, Praise God, tell me some good news!  I need it!"  She said I talked to Joey ( a man she works with) and you've got two new construction houses you can clean for $200 each!  PRAISE GOD!  That's a tad bit over half my rent!  She said and if you do it perfectly and quickly I think I can get you two more!  PRAISE GOD!  I am humbled.  

Sometimes God is a "in the nick of time" God.  He wants us to see that it is HIM and ONLY HIM that is providing.  We think a job will provide but people that have had the same "secure" job for 30 years get laid off.  We deceive ourselves in thinking JOBS PROVIDE.  Don't get me wrong.  I'm not saying we sit around being lazy and say, "welllllll..... God will pay the bills somehow....yawn."  NO!  Put some feet to your prayers!  Give God something to bless!  HE WILL!

Who knew that cleaning two homes would be a miracle for us?  And if we do really amazing and do it fast, we might just get two more!  And that would pay ALL my rent and late fees!  And on top of that, there are TEN more of those houses being built that we can try and get!  I don't want to be greedy.  I want God to use those houses to bless those who need it like He is us but you bet if He chooses us I am going to be entirely fully, humbled and grateful!  YES, God answers prayers.  He's STILL ALIVE!  

Have faith, my sisters, because He sees you in your need and He won't forsake you.  He promises not to forsake us!  I'm excited!  Thrilled!  THANKFUL.  HUMBLED.

His provisions may come in the most unexpected, mysterious ways- but they *WILL* come.  Do not lose faith.  Keep your faith strong and claim His blessings!  Tell Satan, "You don't win!  I'm a child of THE King!"  

I fail.  Oh I fail daily, hourly- who am I kidding?  I'm the greatest sinner thus I need Him even more.  I try hard, I pick myself back up and I try, try again.  I'm strong and I can take a lot... but then there comes an end to me... and it has to be ALL GOD.  

I need to learn NOT to come to the end of me because I never need to go to *me* for any of this.  I'm human.  I can't determine anything...change anything...fix anything but a boo boo for my babies and some supper.... but my GOD - He can change EVERYTHING!

So if you are heavy burdened, or you need your Spirit lifted - go claim Psalms 91 over your life OUTLOUD and DAILY!  Watch for God's hand in the SMALLEST, TINIEST of things and you will begin to see His hand in HUGE ways!!!!  Please be encouraged.

My entire reason in posting this is for my children to one day read and be encouraged and for YOU -whoever GOD sends to read this to be ENCOURAGED IN HIM, IN YOUR FAITH IN HIM.  

Go and get on your knees because THAT is where you WILL WIN the battle.  Standing tall and strong on your own - you will fail EVERY time eventually.  But on your knees, you cannot and I mean CANNOT fail.  He won't let you fail.  You, dear sister, are a CHILD OF THE KING and if you are not, please message me and let me tell you of His great love and forgiveness.  I'm the worst of all sinners so do not be afraid to approach me with anything.  It is GOD's place to judge, NOT MINE!  Judge; lest you be judged in the same manner that you have judged.  I will not bring that upon myself!

Be encouraged.  Have FAITH in Jesus!  Let your spirits be lifted high!!!!
A child of THE King,
Cassidy

3 of my Sweet Pink Jewels

(First, if someone could help me with how to enlarge the font on my blog posts, I'd be grateful for your help!)

Here are pictures of  My 4 Pink Jewels!

My oldest baby girl is off at college and is doing lovely.  Hope is going to be 20 years old in just a bit over a month.  I cannot believe it.  The first born of my 4 pink jewels....blessings from my sweet Lord, Jesus.

This is my sweet Hopey Girl (her nickname has been Hopey Girl since in the hospital when she was born) with the young man she is pretty crazy about named Blaike.  He keeps her smiling and they both love the Lord so much!  Hope is on a full academic scholarship attending Texas A&M Honor College.  I remember the first time I laid eyes on her.  Being my first, it was the first time I felt that love that is absolutely unspeakable.  True, pure joy!  She took her 3 little sisters to Church Camp with her this last summer where she went as a counselor.  It was there that my youngest asked Jesus into her heart!  The best day of a Mommy's life!  And what a precious big sister to take her sisters with her like that.  I sure did miss them but I knew they were daily growing in Jesus!

My Sweet Madi Grace with her PG Tigers shirt from her MiMi & Big Daddy for Christmas :)

Mommy & Madi Grace.  Yep, she's taller than Mum.  (she is my only child that calls me Mum and I love that special name from her!)  I call her Mae Mae or Madzy most of the time but she likes JUST MADI!  :)

The only one shorter than me is "the baby" who is 8 years old.  lol

Madi Grace is now 14.  She has been playing clarinet but has decided she's no longer interested in playing clarinet and is joining the school choir.  It's kind of also like a drama club.  I think she'll do great and love it.  She loves to sing and she sings beautifully.  This year she has grown so much into the young woman she is becoming.

My sassy Sarah Faith!  "Pae Pae" or "Pae" is what I call her.  She's my little mini me!  Here she is showing the PG Tigers hoodie from her MiMi & Big Daddy.

Pae... what can you say about Pae?  Wow, what can you *not* say?  She's FULL of personality!  She makes me smile, makes me laugh and can cheer me up no matter what's going on!  She's the little "momma" of the group.  She, too, is growing up so much this year.  She's 12.  I can't believe it as I type that.  She should still be 2, I just can't believe how the time has passed with each of my jewels.  She a little soccer player and she loves it.  She runs on her toes so we are working on that.  ;)  You can just see her personality even in this picture.  Sweet & Sassy.  She makes sure her baby sister, Hannah Joy, always has exactly what she needs and often what she wants.  She is a momma hen about her... no doubt.  She is a huge animal activist and she has wanted to be a veterinarian ever since she was old enough to even think of what she wants to do.  She's never wavered on wanting to do just that.  She takes care of our animals and they all prefer her!

"The Baby."  Hannah Joy.  AKA Lil Miss Goose, Jo Jo and Hannah Bow Peep.

This is typically how she holds me down to hug and kiss me... it cracks me up!  I love this picture for just that reason.

Just giving Mommy lovies...

With her Daddy one morning.  She loves dog ears.  She also always has to have on a headband.  She haws her own style and I think it's too cute!  Her Daddy is the first one who ever put her hair in pig tails.  She tells me they are not pig tails because pigs only have one tail... they are dog ears because dogs have two ears.  ;)  I'm so glad she could enlighten me, ha ha :)

Last week I grabbed this picture and per usual she likes to "strike a pose!"

Lil Miss Goose with her PG Tigers hoodie from MiMi & Big Daddy.

THIS SUMMER SHE GAVE HER LIFE TO JESUS CHRIST!  Now, all FOUR of my babies are saved!  PRAISE THE LORD!

She's 8 years old.  She's truly *always* happy.  I never see her not smiling or having a bad day.  She's just happy go lucky.  She's outgoing and she loves people, tons of hugs and kisses.  I labored in the hospital for 27 days, yes 27 DAYS, in the hospital before still having her very prematurely but God has given her a beautiful life with no complications from being a preemie.  Madi Grace was also a lil preemie baby.  Hannah Joy is just an absolute gift to everyone who knows her.  She, too, is a soccer player.  Her school teacher even came to one of her games just to see her.  To know her is to love her.  She makes everyone smile and she honestly is the happiest person I've ever known.  Her middle name, "Joy", truly describes her.  She is FULL of pure JOY!

Two amazing pictures of my girls at church camp this summer.

I love this one.  It's so cool looking!  What an amazing summer they shared together at camp.  Serving others and learning more and more about the Lord constantly.  They helped with meals and cleaning cabins, you name it.  Workers for Jesus - I'm so blessed!

Giving hugs early one morning :)

Thankful God saved our marriage!

I hear that we look alike.  I guess after being married almost 15 years that makes perfect sense.

We are planning to renew our vows this year.  It will be our 15th anniversary and it is the year we found our way back to each other through Jesus.  Feb 5th will be another amazing day for us!

I love this picture of him.  Just look at those blue eyes :)

Thank you, Jesus, for blessing us with each other and our precious children.